Questions

Am I really a lost cause?

Is anything inside me real?

Is this burning, aching desire I feel justifiable?

I don't know if I should be here.

I'm smouldering, burning

with passion and desire I cannot name

which bears down on me

and makes me wonder if I can possibly

be for real.

But if this false reality is all that I am

then why do I feel as though

I'm being torn to pieces

and my soul fed, bit by bit

to the wolves?

I've often wondered if, in all of this

the hurts that cut me deeper than any lash,

I might be able to discover the shackles

which fit more tightly around my heart

than any around my wrists or neck.

Where do I fit? and am I really alone?

Why do I feel alone and trapped

in a world that will never understand?

I hear this melody in my dreams,

calling me into the spiralling

dance of submission and surrender

and then I awake and there is nly me

staring back at myself in the mirror

with eyes reflecting the emptiness

in my heart.

I ask myself now, looking at what is

and dreaming of all I wish to become,

if the fantasy in m soul is worth

all the pain that I feel within my heart.

What am I really?

What can complete my soul?

What can make me real?

Copyright © devin 2003