Wednesday, March 9, 2011

The Bond

In all that I am, and all that I do
I am defined by your wisdom
and guided by your hand.
All that I am I lay before you
offering myself to you one breath
at a time, striving to please you
and to bring myself to you
kneeling in trembling obeisance
before you. I am not now
but I will be, and in me you see
power and love, passion and joy
striving to be not excellent
but perfect; striving for you
to be part of you, to be in you
touching you and holding you
breathing you and dreaming you
sleeping you and waking you.
And you ask me yet, "Are you mine?"
Do you not know, where in the depth
of my very soul, I have been yours
not now, but from the beginning
the very beginning of time
which spirals for me now
guiding me outwards and then inwards
allowing me to touch you
body, mind, heart and soul
so that together, we might never
find ourselves separate again?

Copyright © Storm 2004

Turn me Away

I cannot help who I am,
cannot struggle to be
something I am not
but I can press myself
to become everything
which I was ever meant
to be. And in your eyes
you tell me I am pleasing
so I turn to you with
tears pouring down my
cheeks, looking up to you
looking up at you
kneeling before you
needing to know you
craving to be with you
and hoping you won't
turn me away.

Copyright © Storm 2004

Deepest Wounds

The wounds cut deep, and there are only shadows
exploring the recesses of a tired mind
which seeks to find it's way back into the light
from out of the darkness from which it comes.

I felt you there, holding me and guiding me
embracing me so that I could never stray
bringing me back to my own heart's reality
and in that, there was mercy, and there was kindness.

So why do the tears fall, burning down my cheeks
in a silent rhapsody which nobody really wants to hear?
I cry alone in the darkness of a single room, sitting here
at a desk staring at a blank screen and trying to find words.

I should be on my knees, becoming everything I should be
but instead I am here, and my lips are dry and my eyes red
because I cannot reach out through the darkness to touch
the one thing for which my heart most truly aches.

I would give myself to you, body, heart, mind and soul
and turn it over to your will to do with as you please
nothing left as my own, all belonging to you most deeply
because that is, in the essence of the words, who and what I am.

Copyright © Storm 2003

Candlelight

I've been here for years it seems
sitting silently in the creeping darkness
passion glowing like a slow-burning ember
making my body tremble with everything I once was.
I look up, and there is nobody staring back at me.
Instead, I tremble, turning my head to the side
and stare at the brightly burning flames
which light my darkest of hearts, struggling
to bring back to myself the reality of everything
I was once meant to be.

It is not here now but for time, and waiting through
the seasons each turning and coiling around one another
as though struggling to better each in it's turn
so that one might eventually shine above the light
that all others shed upon the earth one after the other.
I don't believe there is any better and I don't believe
there is any worse. I believe that it simply is
and there is no need to struggle to meet the great
needs of the whole because we are all one.

So I will wait silently on my knees, burning and begging
for the time to come when I might once again feel whole.
For now I do nothing but shed my tears and wait
for the candle light to flicker out.

Copyright © Storm 2003

Diamonds

Rain falling outside a window made of glass,
sparkling drops cascading down the pane
and she rests her head against the window
staring out into the night, eyes half closed
as she ponders her place in this life.

Her tears are like the rain, splashing heavily
against the panel of glass in it's frame
and her heart holds it all together, whispering
silently into the night tide so that as they fall
they seem to wash away with every breath she takes.

There is no time now for sitting in the darkness
with a book in her lap, staring out at the rain
painting narrow rivers onto the glass as she waits
for a moment when freedom might creep up behind her
and grip her in a silent pang of fear for loss.

So her tears are long and buried beneath so many
mutations of everything she thought she would
have one day to speak for herself, choking on
her silent prayers as the tears run in quiet
longing down the sweet pink cheeks of her youth.

There is a sound behind her, candle light flickers
but she doesn't turn her head. This is all seen
through her mind's eye, and heard through her inner ear.
The tears continue to course down her cheeks
and she shudders, her mind drawing her deeper inwards.

These are her tears, a gift to the universe
and to the divine which inspires her just as the book
which sits in her lap gives her meaning, words
written down on a page by her own hands, each
singley a word, and yet more, as she is a woman but more.

What are her tears, but crystalized submission,
running like small diamonds down the soft skin
and caressing her silent agony, stroking it and stoking it
pulling her into her time and making her step back
to see it all as it really is, as it once was, and will be?

He owns not her body nor her mind, not each thing she is
but he owns her sould nad her heart, posessing them
like the small diamonds which make their way down
her cheeks, leaving rivers against the pink skin;
for these are precious, as she is precious, and she is his.

A moment of silence and then a hand on her neck, smoothing
and caressing, announcing his presence. She doesn't turn
her head, for it cannot be real, even as he bends his lips
to whisper in her ear as he brushes away a small crystal
from her shining cheek. "You are mine. Your tears are mine."

Outside, the rain continues to spatter against the glass
leaving it's tiny rivers of moisture running in succession
towards the frame. Within, she is held within his embrace
a woman enslaved to the master of her heart, every beat
for him. And her submissive tears are precious diamonds to him.

Copyright © Storm 2003

Short Rhyme

What is beauty bound?
In beauty I know not
for in bondage can be found....

Copyright © devin 2003

Questions

Am I really a lost cause?
Is anything inside me real?
Is this burning, aching desire I feel justifiable?
I don't know if I should be here.
I'm smouldering, burning
with passion and desire I cannot name
which bears down on me
and makes me wonder if I can possibly
be for real.

But if this false reality is all that I am
then why do I feel as though
I'm being torn to pieces
and my soul fed, bit by bit
to the wolves?

I've often wondered if, in all of this
the hurts that cut me deeper than any lash,
I might be able to discover the shackles
which fit more tightly around my heart
than any around my wrists or neck.

Where do I fit? and am I really alone?
Why do I feel alone and trapped
in a world that will never understand?

I hear this melody in my dreams,
calling me into the spiralling
dance of submission and surrender
and then I awake and there is nly me
staring back at myself in the mirror
with eyes reflecting the emptiness
in my heart.

I ask myself now, looking at what is
and dreaming of all I wish to become,
if the fantasy in m soul is worth
all the pain that I feel within my heart.
What am I really?
What can complete my soul?
What can make me real?

Copyright © devin 2003

Nature

What web do we weave?
Is this some sacred dance of carnal pleasure?
Are we obeying the true laws of nature
and performing the ancient rites,
giving over to the obedience of something
far greater than anything we can create?
I could fight and struggle to be free
of all which nature says I am,
but I see there only pain
which would tear me apart and send me reeling
into the blackest pits of hell.
To what should I submit?
And can submission make me free?
Is it then, in truth,
nature which makes me dance
in this exotic ballet
of slavery and mastery?
Is it nature which makes me what I am?
Nature drives me,
commands me,
and I am slave.
I cannot disobey.

Copyright © devin 2003

Define Me

I am what you desire of me:
body heart, mind and soul.
You breath fire into me
and make my head spin
with feelings I never knew.
don't turn me away from you,
for without you, what is there
left to define me?

Copyright © Storm 2003

In Dreams

While I sit here
putting my pen to paper
struggling to put into words
everything that I think and feel
my mind keeps going back
to one divine concept.
I can't name it
or put it into words
or even describe it.
Why is it that I, a writer
cannot define the essence
which drives me?
Don't push me please
into words that are
harsh on the ears
and speak of trivia
when what exists within
the heart of a slave
is tenfold all the words I speak.
The words will come, I know,
when they aren't bidden.
So do not call them up
but rather allow them
just to pass in dreams.

Copyright © devin 2003

Mistress

Same bad collar, but still a glimpse of the life that I had during this really rocky period of my life!

Where was I yesterday
when I looked into the mirror
and saw only a lonely girl,
heart torn to pieces
by the weight of
the world of a slave
who was alone to fight
and fend for herself
in a world that was cruel
and never kind?

Is the weight greater
for a slave alone
than for another person
walking alone the shore
of their life, seeking
but never finding?

I think that it is
and sometimes
there in my own personal darkness
there comes a light
which brightens the darkest corners
of my slave's heart
and sets it afire.

One day I looked up
and there was nothing there
to light those dark corners
to beckon me to the end
of the tunnel that is my life
and I cried an ocean of tears
thinking I'd never come back
from where I had been
and not knowing
where I was going.

What a feeling of loss
I felt then and suddenly
so that I couldn't breath
as though the walls
went up around my slave's heart
threatening to choke me
and lock me in.

Then, through some blessing
of Isis or Another
I saw through the pain
and the tears that I dared to cry
that there was One.

Beautiful and blessed in her ways
she was there to calm and caress
in ways that even she didn't know
and I began to feel whole
once again.

There she was, lighting the night
and I am no longer alone
to stray and to wander
for she is there
to set me right and together
we will find the path
to putting the pieces
of this shattered heart
back together.

Copyright ©devin 2003

Astray

Dark days
Seeking out the dark desires
Soul burning deep within
A fire of passion
A lick of flame
Burning blue and bright
Within the heart
Of the one who would
Unto another submit her passions

And I am there
Burning bright as that flame
Spoiling myself with my passions
Tearing myself apart
As I seek what is within my soul

And she is there
Turning me into something
I never thought I'd be
Never thought I'd touch again
Too much failure
Too much darkness
Spoiling me to bleeding frenzy
Death upon the earth

But now I live
Breaking apart from
The chains that held me down
Restricted me from passage
And she points to the road
And keeps it lit
So that I might never again
Go astray

Copyright ©Storm 2003

Push

Touch the fire
that breaths life into me
burning me and threatening
to consume me whole
spinning to and from
the eagerness that makes
my blood boil.
Reach into me
and pull me back
touching the part of me
that could never before be touched.
Take me to that place within my soul
that will one day bring me
the peace that I crave
touching me deeply
and burning within me
with the fire of passion.

My blood boils for you
and my stomach churns
rushing forward into
the open wilderness
of my heartfelt slavery.
I am raw and real now
beyond anything I ever knew
because you were there
to show me where the sky
met the earth
and to point out to me
that craving is real
and that my origins
and who I am
is worthy.

You took me back to that place
seeking and burning with
the all-consuming fire
burned me with your words
and set me ablaze with
your dominion
a power I never knew and
never wished to return.
Yet I am here
and because of you
I can breathe again
touching myself
through the open wounds
that were once a heart
which could no longer live
let alone love.

And I am slave
as much to the feeling
and sensation of the world around me
as I am to you
and will ever be
burning with the fiery heated passion
of the kajira
the one who took from life
what it offered
and came to you
on the breeze
teaching me to breathe again
and giving to me
all that life wished for me
to have.

You are, when you touch me
more than Mistress
and more than life
and more than love
and more than everything
I've ever wanted
all combined
into one beautiful
rolling sensation
that brings me
to the edge of the desires
my heart has felt
for so long
and then.....

pushes me over.

Copyright ©Storm 2003

Essence of a Slave

Note: I was in a collar at the time that this was published. It was a short-lived collar and not a good fit for me. Chalk it up to lessons learned in youth.

Out there, burning on the breeze,
feeling alive and burning
with the deep fires of all there is
there are those who know
who push with the fire to burn
and who seek what is real
and which has been for an enternity.

How can I say that I am not one
who wishes only for the reality
of the fate which nature designed
pushing me to what I knew was real
all along? Pushing me to take
everything that had been offered
in every way that life could offer
the one thing which I wanted so desperately
to touch and to seek?

We are told of gifts,
of things given and others taken
sometimes both at the same time.
But of these I know not
and of these I do not wish to know
I am not a gift. I have nothing to give.
But from me you take
because in me you see something
which I have to offer and which I know not.
I call it nature
while many think of it as a gift
and I cry many nights in the confusion
of what I really am.

Breathe your fire into me and make me live;
force me into the serenity
of what my heart offers and what I am.
Speak to me offerings
of the gift that is my heart
and breathe to me the truths
of all my days gone by.

If anything of mine is a gift
then consider it the gift of the earth
of the ocean and of the sky
and if you will, consider it
the gift of the fire within
for that which is deepest
burns within me
and makes me real.

My gift is not my own
but the gift of nature.
Yet it is my choice
of unto whom I should offer
this gift of my heart
and of my soul
of my submission
and of my future
my life and my very being.

It is to you I offer this
with nature's heed
and I strive always
to make me yours
as you strive to make me yours
and I will be there
when time ends
bringing to me
that which always was
and turning to you
with the heart and the soul
the very essence
of a slave.

Copyright ©devin 2003

Control

Fire growing
Candles burning
Heat rising
Spinning
Sinning
Out of all control

Ice glazing
Body chilling
Love growing
Freezing
Teasing
Until he takes control

Take her fire
Pass the ice
Bind her heart
Living
Loving
Giving up control

Mark her body
Build the fire
Burn the ice
Giving
Getting
Exchanging their control

Desire races
His hand traces
Curves and lines
She never knew
Taking
Giving
Wanting
Getting
Fire and ice
Silk and chains
Love beyond all control

Copyright ©Storm 2003

Eternal Flame

She remembers a day
when wherever she would go
there were whispers of freedom
and she didn't understand.
Everything in her life spoke to her
of bondage and of pain,
of hearts torn from their place
and thrust out onto the open road.

She struggled with her thoughts
and her memories
trying to place them somewhere
where they might not bother her
pushing and pulling and bleeding
everywhere as she sought to find
a place for her heart to call home.

Where could she go?
Who would understand?
Gifts to give
but no taker who could accept them
for what they were; her body, heart and soul.
Her eyes had searched the world
creeping into the souls
of those who would allow her entry
but there she found nothing
but emptiness
and her loneliness grew
more with each passing day.

She could feel the fire
building up within her
but there was no outlet
and no-one to fan the flames.
So soon they failed
into smouldering ashes
to wait until there was one
with the strenth to return them
to life again.

Though the void, her emptiness
seemed it would not be filled
she never gave up hope
soul seeking every pair of eyes
and every movement for a sign
of the one who could capture her
and make her his forever.

Years passed like this
while the girl's loneliness grew
ever more confusing
forcing her to understand
that she might be alone in a world
of people who would never know
the longing of her heart
and the yearning in her belly.

These things she dreams
are things of the past,
or so the world would have her believe.
And so her mind wanders
tripping to places
long forgotten by many
and dreams harbored by a few.
She stops seeking
and begins to dream
her head spinning
with every new desire
that awakens in her heart and heat.

Then one day when all was lost
she found them gazing at her
as though undressing her with their eyes.
Not one, but many
so that she flushed. Her heart
had forgotten about her desires
and she didn't understand
so that she turned away,
afraid. But still they
stared at her with a hungry
lust in their blazing eyes.

But she had forgotten then
what it meant to dream of the days
when she would be called
only by the name given to her
and where she might have been bound
and owned by the master of the manor.
They tried to remind her,
twisting words and history and fiction
all into one blazing voice
so that she was confused, her heart
broken beyond repair, and she had no choice
but to turn away.

Then one day in the deepest
depths of autumn, one man
shown through the rest,
his eyes blazing through the crowd
as he watched her, yearning to make her
his own. But she turned away
afraid of the desire she felt
burning in her belly, making her want
to fall to her knees and beg him
for the chance to stay.

So with all the truth of
a master's heart, he unfailingly
pursued, eyes wandering and heart raging
ready to claim his prize.
He told her of the things that she
had only ever seen in dreams
and when he had done, she found that
he had spoken straight to her heart
and that there was, within her
the heart, the strength, the soul
of a slave.

Then there, within his eyes
that burn with passion at the very sight
of her frame, bound and beaten,
kissed by leather, held by steel
the grip of bondage around her heart
he takes her, and she knows
that the dreams of her past
the longing for times gone by
were not dreams but the fantasy
of a reality that she could only know
in the arms of the one
who had earned her heart.

Now where her body, bound in silk
encased in steel
and longing only for the touch
of the one who has claimed her
as his prize and his possession
his beauty and his soul
and she is his eternally,
bound by the eternal flame
which he has lit within
the belly of the slave.

Copyright ©Storm 2003

Dance La Kajira

Wide eyes, a flash of blue and violet
sparkling up and falling again,
demure under his passionate gaze.
Her body trembles, soft skin
like satin, listening in the torchlight.
Delicate hands rest on smooth thighs,
knees spread to reveal the moisture
of her rising heat trembling under
her master's gaze.

She longs for his voice calling
to her, demanding of her
amongst the voices of men
and the soft rustlings of
kajirae in silks and steel.
Her belly yearns for him
and his ownership; she is nothing
more than a possession, a prized
belonging, her wrists encased
in steel, her ankles chained.

"Dance la kajira," softly spoken
the voice that she obeys and her deep
blue orbs dart to his, seeking
his heart and recognition.
Icy stell stares back at her
and she blushes, heat rising
from slave sex to belly to heart
and she crawls from her place
at his feet to the pit.

Sounds stop, eyes turning
to focus on the red silks framing
her lithe frame. Eyes follow
the curves of her arms, following
to the smooth skin beneath,
firm, full breasts encased
in red silk, smooth belly,
tight thighs and soft feet.

She moves, her body slowly seeking
it's position, arms curling
over her head, wrists crossed
back to back, one belled and chained
foot before her, toes pointed outwards
and she waits for her master's signal.

He nods, his voice clear now
in the silence of the room,
"Dance la kajira. Dance."
Even a kajirus, mounted at the pillory
turns his head to stare at the beauty
his own stunning, naked flesh trembling,
and she begins, her body moving slowly
at first. And this is the moment
her slave's heart has been waiting for.

Her right leg turns, wrapping around
her, sending her into a graceful spin,
her eyes reflecting the sorrow of an unowned heart.
The slave's long hair lifts with her
self-created breeze, and her heart leaps
in the longing of her belly.
Her arms raise again over her head,
the delicate chain at her ankles
seeming to give her the freedom
she needs, and she dances.

Her eyes, expressive in the light of fire
on stone tell the story of her life
as her body moves in time to the beating
of her slave's heart. Around her, slaves stop
in their service and free are quiet.
They know that tonight is the night.

Her hands move suddenly, her eyes
changing, hardening as she tears
the red silk from around her waist
revealing her heat in the moment,
passion burning in the flush of her skin,
anger pressing itself into the lines of her face.
She whips the silk above her head,
spinning from one end of the pit
to the other, displaying her indignation
at having been enslaved.

Arms lower, silk gripped firm
in the fist of her right hand
her fiery eyes falling on the shackles
on her wrists, her mouth falling open
in a silent cry of rage, her eyes
blazing anew. She spins, as though
she might break free of her bondage.
The rage of her blue-violet orbs
falls to frustration and she stares
at the silk clutched in her delicate fingers,
then dropping to her naked loins.
Her cheeks flush, the colour creeping
up to embrace the shell-curve
of her pretty ears.

Horror flashes to her eyes,
and she spins, her body moving
in fluid circles, spinning nearly
out of control until she stops as though
frozen in space and time. She stares
around her, eyes wide with shock,
as though realizing for the first time
that she is not alone in the silence.

Moments pass in stillness, her expression
changing and moving, passing
from shock to fear, to sad stillness.
She falls to her knees, her face falling
into her hands, desperation coursing
in the trembling of her tender flesh.
Her hands lower and she stares
again at her wrists, her face falling
in a tremour of realization.

Eyes rise to the steely gaze of hte man
at whose feet she has so often knelt,
the warrior of her heart. She draws
the red silk over her head and around
her neck, over her soft breasts
down her belly and between her legs.

Her eyes express the longing in the belly
of the unowned slave. With grace she
wraps the silk around her wrists,
pressing her palms against the sand,
sliding forward until she is stretched
prostrate in the sand. She inches forward
on her belly, rolling first left, then right
as though in indecision, until she reaches
the cold stone of the tile.

She rolls, spinning quickly one way
and then the other, towards her warrior,
away again, thrusting back up
onto her knees, her head moving
forward, back, side to side,
her eyes reflecting her fear and uncertainty.
Her arms stretch above her head,
her full breasts thrusting out against
the silk that reveals more than
it conceals. She closes, and then
spreads her knees, acting out
through her dance her fears
and the concerns of her slave's heart.

All eyes are on the slave girl,
watching her progression from the pit
and her demonstration with the silk
Silence prveails, the parched throats
of the free forgotten in the pleasure
of the girl's movement, the smiles
of her sisters encouraging as she
slides again to her belly, crawling
her way again to his feet. She pauses
as though torn, and then slips
with grace to her knees, a gentle
part to her soft thighs, rvealing
to him the glistening treasures
of her slavehood.

He doesn't smile, but gazes down at her,
hard edges as she draws her silk-bound
wrists behind her head, pulling them
forward around her neck
and breaking her weak bondage.
She looks down at her wrists in horror
and then raises her hands to him,
palms up in supplication, hot tears
burning in her eyes as she raises
the windows to her soul to him, pleading.

"A girl has been your ssince she heard
your voice, Master," she speaks clearly
in soft tones. "If Master would have her,
she wishes to wear your steel." She draws
breath, tears spilling from behind
half-closed lids. There is silence, and
she waits in the agonizing stillness.

A sister steps forward on soft heels,
lifting her long hair from her neck
and she knows, even before his brother
hands to him the metal band of ownership.
"What are you?" he asks her, voice hard.
"She is slave, Master, and nothing else."
His face breaks for the first time into a smile
and the steel closes around her neck
claiming and calming her. "From this day forward,
you are mine, body, heart and soul."

The tavern erupts into it's former activity,
and she kneels, content, on her owner's furs.

Copyright ©Storm 2003